Posts Tagged ‘Path’

my sonuvabitch ex boyfriend

August 19, 2010 2 comments

I can’t seem to escape dram-a on the choochoo as of late. The week prior to X Games there was an all out brawl in the car behind mine. When the train stopped in Long Branch 10 cop cars and about 30 police were waiting to grab the perps. It was a pretty entertaining chain of events, but resulted in a $40, 30-minute cab ride from Long Branch to Manasquan with some Air Force Academy students and alum. They were an interesting crew to say the least and reminded me of newbies to the USAF, but also reminded me of why I didn’t stay around.

This past Friday night was another exceptional experience on New Jersey Transit. I attended class at the Jersey City Campus of the University of Phoenix and made it out by 9:30pm. I hustled down to the Pavonia Newport stop under my school’s building where I talked to a little blonde in her mid 30’s. No flirting here because she wasn’t my type, but just a friendly information exchange about station stops. We parted ways as the train became visible down the tracks. As the train pulled into the station, a woman on the platform screams, ”I’m going to kill my mother and that sonuvabitch ex-boyfriend of mine!!” I could not see the woman in question, so I brushed it off and followed the train as it opened its doors. I sat down in the middle of the first car with my iPod on and wondered if the torrette’s woman had made it onto my car. To my surprise and the surprise of everyone in the car, the little mid 30’s blonde that I had exchanged a quick convo with belts out “My mother is a bitch and I hate my sonuvabitch ex-boyfriend!” WE HAVE LOCATED CRAZYPANTS! She walks from the front of the car to the middle and sits directly across from me. She sits for a couple of seconds with a smile on her face and then spews out more hatred about her “bitch of an Aunt.” All the way to the next station she proclaims her hatred for various members of her family and that “sonuvabitch ex-boyfriend” of hers. Read more…


walk of shame, natural selection at its best

March 28, 2010 1 comment

The Greatest Walk Ever Walked

Getting on the Path today, I was privy to witness something amazing. This occurence I would liken to seeing a dodo in the wild. The mythical, the enchanting, “Walk of Shame” (here on referred to as WOS). But not just any WOS, the best one I have ever seen.

For those that don’t know, the WOS is the early morning walk home after being out all night. You can spot Walkers by looking for oversized sunglasses on a cloudy day. These sunglasses are like a mask from the outside world. They hide the shame-filled, bag laidened eyes of someone who might regret the events of the prior night.

Other Walker traits include, but are not limited to, a wrinkled dress stuffed into a “night on the town” purse, lightly smeared makeup, slightly teased out hair reminiscent of the ’80s, or the wearing of oversized male gym apparel Read more…

heard it on the train

Best thing I heard today on the train was between two drunk guys leaving Hoboken St Pattys Day.

Small guy says to big guy, both in their 20s, “I just want my son to have nice things. I hope one day I can give him a fold out couch.”

The mark of a true father.