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liver spots!


Ive been hearing rumors that once you turn 30, all life changes. No one really cared to go into any detail on these changes or to give me insight into what to expect either. They just keep telling me that it all changes. The most troubling of these rumors is that of liver spots start showing up on a person’s 30th birthday. I know that these spots arent just some phenomena that magically appear 10,950 into a person’s life, but I was joking about it with friends the other night. I was joking that at 6:15p on 28Dec 2010, instead of getting an awesome present, I would be greeted with an explosion of liver spots. I know, a fairly disturbing visual.

The other things that scare me besides developing spots of the liver variety are as follows, but in no particular order of frightfulness:
elongating ears
developing a keg belly
an ever growing schnoz
a forehead steadily creeping into a double-digit head
flappy arms that resemble meat wings
and an endless supply of cottage cheese ass full of curds and whey

Now I dont think that this is going to all collapse on me in one massive avalanche inside of 4 days, but it does make me wonder when some of these will rear their ugly heads. Im sure I have a while, hopefully a long while because a bald, long-eared, flappy, dalmatian version of me doesnt seem too flattering.

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