rain day

umbrella skeletons

Today was the first day I have ever had to walk to work in the city when it was raining, I mean really raining. Like tropical depression Irma raining. I didn’t think much of it as I left my apartment this morning, but as I stepped outside I had to weigh out my options: 1) walk all the way to work without an umbrella and be soaked because my coats with hoods are too heavy, or 2) break guy code and grab the umbrella right next to the door. I figured that option #2 was the best bet even though I knew that some of my friends would laugh. Military guys don’t use umbrellas from my experience.

I walked back upstairs to retrieve my fancy umbrella (truly is fancy. A navy blue with rich wood on the tip and curved handle. I am proud of that thing). I laughed as I popped it open thinking about Kevin and how he would ridicule me, walked down the steps to the sidewalk, and proceeded to the corner. I thought to myself, “this isn’t so bad.” Then I hit the corner of my block where a 60mph gust of wind folded my fancy umbrella inside out, whipped it right side in, bent it in half to the right, then smacked me in the face. Within seconds, I realized that I had broken guy code and paid for it with a smack to the ole fach. I threw the discombobulated, tangled mess of an umbrella in the nearest trash can, then found a cab. I wish I had submitted my picture to this umbrella disaster blog

As I rode on the train my anger built up and all I could think about was how stupid I had been for bringing out an umbrella and not digging out a too-heavy coat with a hood to wear for he day. I really just need to buy a rain slicker. “Rain slicker,” do they even call them that any more? Did I just date myself? Am I secretly 65 years old and don’t know it? Do you think of “I know what you did last summer” when you think of a rain slicker? I do.

yup, just like that except without a friend and more violent

I emerged from the Path station and could not help but laugh at the amount of rain that was pouring down outside. I walked toward Macy’s on 34th, briefly thought about grabbing an umbrella inside, but the place was mobbed at 945a and “I didn’t need one. I’m a man.” I walked 6 blocks like this, cursing my every step in the horizontal precipitation. All the while quietly laughing at my situation and wondering if I had made the right choice. The rain was pretty cold, the wind was pretty howling, and my receding hairline was pretty showing. I popped up on Fifth Ave and decided to give in. I found a sporting goods store and sprung for a $14.14 umbrella, in BLACK MIND YOU. When I got outside, the whole morning had changed. The rain was still pummeling all city goers, but I was transported to another place. A dry place, where I was free to observe all the other cityfolk as they trudged to work through Irma (tropical depression referenced earlier).

As I turned out of the store I could not help but giggle at the poor woman who thought it best to wear a skirt and heels in this weather. Travesty. Picture little blondie trying to hold down her lacy skirt while dodging puddles in expensive heels while barely holding on to her umbrella. Not enough hands and not enough thought into your outfit lady. I cackled out loud as people passed with busted up umbrellas, folded this way and that, smashed against faces, and turning inside out. All these people have walked in the rain before, through the city to their offices, and yet, were facing the same troubles I was. I, a virgin rain walker, was not alone in my plight to reach the office somewhat dry. I had companions in my struggles and this brought me smiles.

I made it to work a couple of minutes late, a couple of dollars poorer, and soaked to my skin. Converse don’t do well in the rain and me thinks its time to invest in a pair of waterproof boots. My jeans were damp until almost 230p, that’s 4 hours from when I got to work. How do people get to work dry? How much more skilled are they than I? Or do they all have mystical powers like Jay Z, “Ni&&as in the same spot, me I’m dodgin raindrops…(On To The Next One)” I bet that dude never gets rained on. Money really can buy you everything.

The more I think about it the funnier it was to watch everyone struggle the same way I did. I’m glad to not be alone in the battle over the elements. Hopefully this just turns to snow and then it’s not as annoying. It’s that time of year so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…because cold rain sucks.

  1. December 2, 2010 at 09:40

    haha, my umbrella didn’t survive yesterday either. something about the rain+wind yesterday was hilarious. amy and i couldn’t stop laughing as we were getting soaked and blown around the street.

    i would love to see you rocking a pair of Hunters. lol

  2. December 3, 2010 at 12:14

    For a portion of my debacle, I had wished there was someone to share it with. I think it would have been that more enjoyable to have a partner in crime through it all as you did.

    In reference to you Hunters, I have always been jealous that you ladies get to wear stylish rain boots, but I regret to say that it is very unlikely you will ever see me in something like this. That is unless I join the cast of Deadliest Catch, bc then it would be acceptable.

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