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thanksgiving eve


The biggest bar night of year and one of my favorites, like many other people I assume. I always look forward to this night because most of the old high school crew is back in the area and it lends itself to some randomness. This Thanksgiving Eve though presented some unforeseen challenges that lead to confusion and indecision with our bunch. Our original destination, Oliver’s, had shut done over the last year and this threw a major wrench in the machine. I had personally gone there for the last eight years so I had no idea what the plan was now. Come to find out, many of us were all in the same boat.

With no real plan, I went to the local redneck watering hole called the Wolfe’s Den. It’s exactly like the name would suggest, a shit hole. But it is OUR shit hole. I showed up early to find that no one other than the locals were there. I am a one man wolf pack at the Wolfe’s Den, imagine that? A couple sets of overalls, some dirty beards, and Maryland pride sat around that old bar and I could not help but laugh at the start to this night. Then to my surprise Yuengling drafts in super frosty mugs were $1 for happy hour! Darrell was the first to show up and then the Everett clan, even Ms Glo showed up for a drink at the famous S-Borough landmark. Wood paneling a plenty and even some diamond plated steel in the bathroom, make this place a near one-of-a-kind redneck cantina.

We all laughed at our situation and had a friendly debate on the next stop in the Turkey Eve tour. We concluded that the cookie cutter Green Turtle would have to be the next destination because it would offer up the most room and the most people. As we talked, happy hour ended and the beers went up a whole quarter to $1.25. BREAK THE BANK at the Wolfe’s Den!! You can’t get anything for one dollar and twenty-five cents anywhere but here. This absolutely killed me. I put $20 on the bar and all 7 of us drank for that much the entire time we were at the WD. To top that, some random drunk lit up a cig while playing pool. It hasn’t been legal to smoke in bars for years, but this dude thought it a good idea. The final and best laugh from our time at the Den occurred right as I was leaving. The whole left side of the bar wished us Happy Thanksgiving as we were exiting and as I was the last to leave I received a fantastic compliment. The tipsy elderly grandma with a slight case of the shakes informed me that I had a “great ass!” Word for word, here’s how it went. Corner in unison, “Happy Thanksgiving you guys!” Our crew, “Happy thanksgiving back, have a good night.” Shaky Grandma, “You have a special holiday…oh, you have a great ass!”

I almost hit the floor. The rest of the crew could NOT stop laughing. What a great, random start to the night.
On from there to a chain restaurant with no Hagerstown character. The night wasnt really anything to write home about, nothing like previous years, but I knew that going in. A handful of old friends came through, but not like I expected. Even still, the Everett’s, Aaron’s, Hunt’s, and Miller’s held it down for a good time. Most random moment of the night was when Steve, my friend from NJ, shows up to the bar. I forgot he was dating a girl from Htown, but there he was. Random and fun. Toga made a stop through, so this would have to be the highlight of the night. Other than that, it was a couple of drinks and some dancing, which I have been known to do a few times.

In fact, this dancing that I like to do almost got me in trouble once again. “DAMN YOU RHYTHM GODS FOR GIVING ME THESE CRAZY DANCING LEGS OF MINE!” If you read my blubbering, you know that I like to “dougie.” The song came on and my friend Danny also happens to be a dougie-lover. SInce this is one of the dance crazes for the moment, everyone wants to join in and some people take it way too serious. The DJ was looking for some people to battle so I immediately was volunteered by young Daniel. The girl who was involved was going to be serious competition, the other guy however, not so much, HA! (I feel like I should be in Step Up 4D) This other kid kept laughing in my direction so me being the smart-ass I am, I asked why he was laughing in my general direction. He responded with “you’re white bro!” I shook it off, but could only think about how stereotypes are perpetuated through all races. I know we’re country bumpkins in this town and maybe a little slower to adjust, but let’s get over ourselves, our “colors,” and hang out. I would’ve bought him a drink after I laid waste to his ego on the dance floor. That’s the kind of gentlemen I am, but he will never know that because he decided to be a prick.

No real highlight to the night other than this, oh and a scuffle at the end. Just some military kids being a little too prideful I think. Been there and done that. Glad I was only involved in stopping this one and trying to play mediator versus jumping in with the good ole boys. We ended the night with a Sheetz run for some chocolate milk and a steak, egg, and cheese Shmuffin. Kevin could appreciate that move. I dropped off my military buddy, then Jenna and Danny at their place. Off then to my house for the night. Sleep never comes easy and this night was no different. Steak Shmuffin and choco milk in my old bed…a good way to end the night.

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