Home > My Everyday Life > you can never go home again…

you can never go home again…


I have heard this phrase so many times throughout my life. I even feel like I have written about this previously here. I used to believe this phrase and now I remember that I wrote about this same subject when Kevin was leaving for Okinawa Japan. I remember we were trying to rekindle old times, trying to see why people stay in our small towns and we came to the realization that this town is like a black hole. It sucks people in and drains potential.

However over the last two days, I finally saw why these people stayed.

I like to think that I am a worldly person. I like to think that I will have amazing adventures and stories to tell my kids of “this one time in Japan with your Uncle Kevin, we…(its gonna be good I promise)” I like to think that I will see all that the world has to offer in my years to come and I pray that I am blessed with “years to come.” Today I realized that the world has so many things to offer, but that I dont need to take a slow boat to China, I dont need to cross the equator, or bounce around the continents to find them. I realized that I only have to take a short drive down here, down to the where I am from. Down to the place where multiple families raised me and influenced the man that writes this today. I found that all a person really needs can be found in this small community of people that I have grown up with, the people I sprayed with hoses or continue to pick on years later. Its in the people you dont talk to for years bc we get caught up, yet somehow you pick up right where you left off. Its in the people you cant stand sometimes bc they are like you in so many ways. There are no pyramids here, no Coliseum, no great wonders of the world. Even without these monuments, there is history, “our” history. The history that we made, the one that matters to us and lives on in the memories I relived today. Its in the hugs, the laughter, the voices, and the tears of a community who lost a great man.

What do you say to someone when they have lost a piece of their family, a piece of their heart? I struggled with this in the passing of Shawna’s mom earlier this year and now I stood today wondering those same things. I dont really think there is much that can be done to take away this pain. However, I do know several things. I do know that those hugs are infectious and force life back into those that have lost. I do know that laughter helps to chip away at the hardened sorrow inside. I do know that those voices can help to soothe a weary mind and mend a wounded heart. And, I do know that those tears are tiny streams of a genuine love that cannot be expressed in words. They are the rawest form of human emotion. The tiniest flowing symbol of grief we can so sincerely express.

I do know now why my friends chose to build their adult lives here. I do know why they chose to have their children here. I do know that I am proud to be a member of this family, this town of Smithsburg, this home of the Leopards. We bleed purple and gold, we confide in those around us, we can depend on our neighbors, we help to raise each others kids, and unfortunately we are there to also bury them. After seeing what this community is capable of, I AM SOO SOO proud to call this MY community, MY family and I feel so very lucky to have grown up here. I can now honestly say with all the conviction in my heart that you can indeed come home again.

Rest well Patrick, you have touched so many, many lives. Thank you for being such an instrumental part in building this town and showing what a real man is capable of.

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  1. JLee
    October 26, 2010 at 19:20

    welcome back.

  2. Kevin
    October 26, 2010 at 22:43

    Matt, this is very very well written…I sure hope you read this aloud to a lot of people back home…this is outstanding!!!

    • October 26, 2010 at 23:46

      Thank you. I would love to have read this to people, but I wrote it after his burial today when I struggled to find the words to say to Rachel. I couldnt help but think back to when my brother was in a coma and the doctor told me that I needed to say my goodbyes. I said a thousand goodbyes during the longest week of my life and no matter how hard it was, I remember that there were 3 reasons I made it through that time:
      1) YOU and I am not sure I have ever truly thanked you for that, but I am forever indebted for you standing by me through it all. THANK YOU,
      2) my family, and
      3) my friends from Hagerstown and Smithsburg

      It just made me proud to think back to how the town rallied for us and now for the Bachtell family. I had to just let it out, how so very happy I am to be raised amongst these amazing people and to grow up in our little town.

  3. Gloria
    October 27, 2010 at 07:33

    Matt and kevin, I am soo p roud of both of u. I am proud u too r in my lives and my childrens. I only hope they find friendship as genuine as urs!

  4. "M"
    October 27, 2010 at 16:28

    I am sooooooooooooooo proud to call you my Son … you are truly a loving and caring young man. Luv, “M”

    • Rob
      October 29, 2010 at 11:00

      Sharon,

      You dont know me,but i have the privledge of knowing your son.
      Hes a great guy!!! You did a wonderful job raising him!
      You should be very proud of the man he has turned into.
      I’m very greatful to call him a friend and enjoy his company
      each time i see him..

      Rob Hughes

  5. jacobschurch
    October 27, 2010 at 17:11

    Matt, I agree with you so much. What a community! Our lives will never be the same after that day. I placed a tribute on my Church web site the below memorial. The poem I used as the benediction at his funeral service.Feel free to paste this blog on my site. I’ll print it and deliver to the Bachtells. http://www.jacobschurch.com then click Patrick Bachtell Memorial to leave your memorial. Love You Matt, Richard Daughtridge, Mr.D.

    On the day that Patrick Bachtell, my good friend, passed away, being overwhelmed by grief, I wrote just a short poem expressing my feelings about death. We had just left the ER where we were told we had lost a dear friend. I officiated in their wedding earlier this year and was awed by their love for each other. I loved Patrick and Jessica very much and will miss him very much. Feel free to leave a memorial by clicking comment. Our prayers are with Jessica and all the Bachtell Family. Pastor Daughtridge

    This poem of prayer was used as the benediction at the memorial service for Patrick, 10/26/2010

    When A Loved One Dies, by Pastor Richard A. Daughtridge

    When someone you love dies it’s like a part of you died as well,

    The emptied dreams, the loneliness, Seems you,ve been left with only a story to tell,

    But oh that story about my friend who lived, who loved, who cared, who dreamed and helped so many that will share this loss today.

    The continual painting of memories, cherished songs, millions of smiles, must never be allowed to fade away.

    As I search for answers. I long for faith in God and to understand and search for a glimpse life beyond,

    Though I believe I’ll see him again I miss that cherished bond,

    Help me Father as I travel this journey to find comfort and please forgive my sin,

    We’ll need your help with our broken hearts until we are in Heaven together again,

    In Christ’s Name Amen

    http://jacobschurch.wordpress.com/memorial-patrick-bachtell/

  6. Doug Wynkoop
    October 27, 2010 at 21:10

    Well said Matt its a great place to grow up and then raise a family. Like you also said its never to late to tell you friends and loved ones how you feel. We take this for granted way to much. It was great seeing you the other day. So when are you moving back Home?

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