Home > Adult Beverages > I retract my statement about Four Loko…

I retract my statement about Four Loko…

This weekend, the second to last in the summer, was a blur to say the least. Four Lokos are out for the rest of the summer and most likely forever for this guy. Too crazy, too much, just excess in a can. A can of Four Loko is like going out with your usual group of friends for a good night and then someone throwing in a schizophrenic wildcard homeboy from your friend’s college days. The night starts out normal enough. Everyone is having a good time, but at some point, things turn weird. The night gets blurry and then fades to black. Wake up with a jolt/headache to “schizo-college-homie” blowing lines off a strippers ass in your apartment (where’d she come from?), your pants are missing and your bank account is overdrawn. That’s how I feel when ingesting a Four Loko and I dont like it. Not to mention that fact that no one knows what’s in those joints. The fact that Mass, CT, and New York are trying to ban this drink is a testament to its invasive and inebriating affects. At $2.59 a tallboy, this is the most bang for your bucks and is an easy way to ruin a perfectly good night.

Saturday I put down a lemonade Loko and the rest was history. To the Osprey, a Squan staple for decades, to pull down a little too many shots, dance a little too crazily, and act a little too inappropriately. So the decent person in me decided it was time to remove myself from the situation as it was best to get home and not rage any further. A waste of a night for me, fun for about a solid hour, but all in all too much of a good thing. Im not sure what cocaine feels like, but I assume that I could NEVER handle it because I cant handle these.

Take part in these at your own risk. If you’re looking for a normal night, stay away. If that full moon has already got you amped and you need a something “legal” to take you to the next level, grab a can of these Four Loko joints or two, and get lifted. But dont say I didnt warn you about that “schizo-college-homie” in your place the next day. He’s hard to get rid of, drink lots of water.

  1. Bubs
    August 31, 2010 at 21:24

    I am removing myself from the four loko game as well. I’m pretty sure I was that schizo college homie you speak of. Had my angry jimmies fach on all night.

    • August 31, 2010 at 21:28

      actually not you at all though you were a viable candidate, ha. I was speaking about the “bad side of me” in that one. he’s the one that likes strippers and debauchery. I am more sophisticated, we are more sophisticated than that. AJ Fach was in effect though.

  2. November 18, 2010 at 00:06

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