This weekend, the second to last in the summer, was a blur to say the least. Four Lokos are out for the rest of the summer and most likely forever for this guy. Too crazy, too much, just excess in a can. A can of Four Loko is like going out with your usual group of friends for a good night and then someone throwing in a schizophrenic wildcard homeboy from your friend’s college days. The night starts out normal enough. Everyone is having a good time, but at some point, things turn weird. The night gets blurry and then fades to black. Wake up with a jolt/headache to “schizo-college-homie” blowing lines off a strippers ass in your apartment (where’d she come from?), your pants are missing and your bank account is overdrawn. That’s how I feel when ingesting a Four Loko and I dont like it. Not to mention that fact that no one knows what’s in those joints. The fact that Mass, CT, and New York are trying to ban this drink is a testament to its invasive and inebriating affects. At $2.59 a tallboy, this is the most bang for your bucks and is an easy way to ruin a perfectly good night.
Saturday I put down a lemonade Loko and the rest was history. To the Osprey, a Squan staple for decades, to pull down a little too many shots, dance a little too crazily, and act a little too inappropriately. So the decent person in me decided it was time to remove myself from the situation as it was best to get home and not rage any further. A waste of a night for me, fun for about a solid hour, but all in all too much of a good thing. Im not sure what cocaine feels like, but I assume that I could NEVER handle it because I cant handle these.
Take part in these at your own risk. If you’re looking for a normal night, stay away. If that full moon has already got you amped and you need a something “legal” to take you to the next level, grab a can of these Four Loko joints or two, and get lifted. But dont say I didnt warn you about that “schizo-college-homie” in your place the next day. He’s hard to get rid of, drink lots of water.
1306 – and we’re a blacked Escalade like Diddy on our way to ESPN studios to watch the taping of SportsNation (SN) where Dana White is being interviewed. Originally I thought this might have something to do with the Ultimate Fighter, but instead, and just as awesome, we are going to be in the audience for a live taping of SN. Pretty sick to be a part of this and to be considered a person that represents IAVA well. I like being considered for a short list of good people. Thanks IAVA.
On the way up, Katie showed me comp sheet (draft) of the JC Penney/Joseph Abboud shoot and I happened to see that I look pretty ridiculous on several accounts. There’s nothing I can do about it and that’s pretty much the epitome of my personality anyway I guess. Let it ride. The mailer looks great and comes out on 30 Sept with the full campaign starting up on 8 Oct. Hopefully we get to do something more with the official launch of the campaign. Everyone’s going to get a laugh out of me for sure.
1415 – We pull into Bristol, the Home of ESPN, and reallynothing else but it seems to work. We run to a gas station for some quick turkey sandwich break out the back of the ‘Lade then onto ESPN HQ. Once at ESPN, we meet with the man behind SportsNation, Jamie Horowitz, a friend of IAVA. Jamie shows us through some of the campus and gives us insight to ESPN’s origin in Bristol. In the studio we are surprised to see “The Most Interesting Man in the World” who is there for promo spots of the show we are sitting in on. The buzz around this guy was unreal. Apparently Bob Lee was even excited and that guy has met and interviewed every major sports figure in modern sports. Read more…
Monday was a good lazy day as the weather was shat with overcast skies, wind, and big overhead waves. Since there was no chance to get into the water, I watched a Fantasy Factory marathon, went food shopping, did some studying, took a nap, and just had a chill day in general. I ventured up to Red Bank to have dinner with a friend, chat a little, compare hip-hop “it” songs of the moment, let her roommates cat out by accident, and then drive right back to Manasquan after.
I had just picked up the horror movie remake, the Crazies, from the local Red Box and was good to call it a night when my phone rang from a number I didn’t recognize. I answered and found that it was Cara Hammer, member of NYC’s local IAVA office. I had forgotten to fax my W9 for the Abboud shoot so I thought she was calling me as a reminder, but I was greeted with an invite instead. She asked if I was free to got to CT tomorrow, which is now today (Tuesday) as I have slept and am now on a train to Penn Station. She said they had a last-minute invite to the Bristol, CT compound that houses ESPN and we would be meeting Dana White, the President/brainchild behind all that the UFC is today. He’s actually an incredible story in himself as he took what was a washed up brawling league with no rules into the estimated $2 billion monstrosity that the UFC is today. Rags to riches stories just amaze me.
Time stamps will help in describing my day. All of this is written as it happened. Read more…
“IAVA addresses critical issues facing new veterans and their families, including mental health injuries, a stretched VA system, inadequate health care for female veterans, and GI Bill educational benefits.
IAVA also provides valuable resources and empowers veterans to connect with one another, fostering a strong and lasting community.”
I joined this group a little more than two years ago and in this time I have observed huge changes in the way vets of our generation are now perceived in society, how we are being helped through legislature, and how we as vets are not being forgotten for sacrifices made. Through IAVA, vets are able to ask questions about subjects ranging from medical and educational needs to dealing with transitioning from military to civilian life. Before this group was established in 2004, there was no central place to answer the questions of a new age veteran. Now through an intuitive website, a social media campaign unlike any other vets group, and dedicated, passionate people, IAVA is making moves in Congress and around the country to better the lives of those still who have served and to preserve teh memory of those that have fallen. This organization is one that I hold near to my heart because of the changes I have already seen and experienced in my life since joining, but for the potential this group holds to ensure that we as veterans are not left in the cold.
The more I am privy to interactions with IAVA, the more I realize that I need to be involved, that WE need to be involved. IAVA has two locations, one in the NYC metro area and another in the DC metro area. Both are heavily populated areas of veterans and for those of you looking to do more, I recommend seeking out these people and getting involved with IAVA. It not only improves your life, but the lives of all those troops you and I flew with, and fought and served beside.
If you havent checked out the site before, here it is. IAVA.org
Ive benefitted from this organization already and I feel that those of you who have served will too. Not a vet or active duty member, there are other ways to support so please check it out and become an IAVA supporter in whatever way you can. No I did not get paid to write this, I wish I would get paid for my ramblings. This is merely an expression of thankfulness to an organization that has helped me many times and afforded me opportunities that I couldnt have imagined. If you dont believe me, read my next post.
So I have wanted to hear this scene on repeat now since first seeing the movie. I also thought it would be funny to write it out using my military transcription techniques. Thanks hundreds of thousands of dollars in military education, I am using it to transcribe movie quotes.
Marky – “Even if you weren’t in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you.
If I were a lion and your were a tuna I would swim out into the middle of the ocean and friggin eat you! And then, I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.”
Will – “Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean?
Lions don’t even like water.
If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.
But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.
You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’
We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”
Marky – “How ya gonna to do that?”
Will – “We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. Its not going to be days at a time, an hour, hour 45. No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You are out gunned and outmanned.
That go the way you thought it was gonna to go?” Shaking his head. “Nope.”
There are no spoilers in this review.
I went into this movie not expecting much, but hoping that it would live up to Will Ferrell’s previous film successes. This was no Old School, but needless to say I teared up on several occasions from the outrageous ramblings and events of this movie. Ill go ahead and claim this as another Adam McKay hit, writer of Anchorman.
The story is about two desk jockey cops that are unexpectedly thrust into the lime light after a series of bazaar events shocks the New York Police Department. Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell) a mild-mannered accountant who is forever running from his past, but is married to an out-of-his-league Allstar played by Eva Mendez. Terry Hoitz (Mark Walberg) is a true jock cop that had been previously assigned to detective work until one fatal mistake landed him a lifetime desk job. An easy role for Marky to fall into. These two characters are absolute opposites in the movie and play well as a protagonist tandem. Allen Gamble is content being in the background and handling the “real” police duty, paperwork while boisterous Terry Hoitz is a “peacock who just wants to fly.”
Without giving anything away, the action is outrageous, but the dialogue is what really makes this movie memorable. Hoitz’s quips are often scene-stealers as he rattles off degrading comment after slanderous slurr to Gamble. Gamble’s rants, reminiscent of some of Will Ferrell’s Funny or Die sketches, are gut wrenching at times and I found myself wiping my eyes throughout the film.
Scenes to watch out for:
the Tuna v. Lion tirade
Allen Gamble’s alter-ego, Gator, makes his appearances
The funeral scene
These couple of scenes are so off the wall and unexpected that it gives the movie somewhat of a Family Guy feel. You know, that unexpected flashback that has nothing to do with anything, but has everything to do with something kind of thing. And the neverending stretch of a joke that seems to never end thing. Yeah, if you watch Family guy, you know what Im talking about.
All in all, the entire Squan lifeguard crew agrees that this is a must see for those that like the comedic stylings of Adam McKay and Will Ferrell. Don’t go into this putting the movie on a pedestal, go in expecting a laugh and some outrageous surprises. With this in mind, I’m positive you will leave the theater bloated on pretzel bites and nacho cheese, oh and talking about this movie the entire way home.
A funny random fact that no one knows unless you were in NYC last Oct for the Broadway Bomb….
This is the Will Ferrell movie they were filming in Wall Street near the Bull when we were finishing the race. If you look in the background as they are trying to talk a man off the ledge, you can see skaters finishing the race. Pretty interesting to those of us that skate NYC on the reg.