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west to east

I was treated to this sunset at 33,000 ft

Woke up early today (Wednesday) to try to get back into the east coast rhythm and to hang with Chaz and Tammi as long as possible before having to leave Tucson. We ate some cheesy eggs, had some coffee, put our shoes on the wrong feet (Chaz!), and cleaned up an empty house. I squished a wolf spider hanging out in the corner of the ceiling (I spotted him in the kitchen all the way from the living room and I didn’t have my glasses on. He was a good size and I HATE spiders. It was evident that Tammi hates spiders more than me so I had to step up, ha.). I did the manly thing and squished him into oblivion. I did this just to make sure he wasn’t going to somehow escape the crushing blow, gallop down the box I was using to crush him and then suck my blood. Luckily I have been working out with Crossfit and sufficiently sent him to that little web in the sky.

We left the house around 1145 and mailed off my litho (a plaque of the plane I used to fly on) after 2.5 years of sitting in Brandon’s garage, then rolled down to south Tucson to drop me at the airport. Pretty uneventful except the fact that I was placed in a middle seat even though I had already been assigned to a window!!! I thought about throwing a tantrum but let it slide and it worked out just fine.

Over the course of the flight we had two reroutes for weather in and around the Dallas Fort Worth area, but what was even better, were the three (YUP 3!) screaming babies strategically placed around me. One row behind me on the same side of the plane, baby 2 was two rows up on the same side and the final baby was one row up on the opposite side of the plane. The baby to people ratio in my area was 1:5, that’s a ridiculous statistic when you consider we are stuck in metal box flying over 30,000 feet in the air with no escape. Luckily I have flown almost a thousand times between the military and commercial so I came prepared unlike the fellow next to me. He huffed and puffed the entire flight, turning around in a threatening manner as if he was going to really say something to the poor mom that was panicking bc her baby wouldn’t shut its bottle hole. All the while he was wiggling, fidgeting, sighing and rolling his eyes. I know I laughed out loud a couple of times as I watched him die a slow death from the siren calls of tired babies. I just listened to my headphones and played Angry Birds (best game you can buy at the app store right now) to pass the time. He actually made my middle seat the best possible place on the plane for because it allowed me to giggle at his expense.

With all the reroutes we were 45 minutes late to DFW which only left me 15 minutes to get to my connection to Newark as we pulled up to the jetway. We were let out in C18 and I needed to get to A16, all the way on the other side of the airport in under 7 minutes. Since I own a longboard company and I claim to be a “hardcore” skater, my only choice was to rip through DFW on my Bustin Strike as fast as I could without 1) hitting any children or clipping the elderly and 2) getting nabbed by a security guard in the process. Neither of these things happened as I “bombed” (this is a term for screaming through a skateable section of ground. I did not literally bomb, nor do I ever have the intentions of bombing anything. I just needed to clear that up in case anyone from the FAA or Homeland Security were to read this post.) through the airport. I passed all types of people from the old to flight attendants to parents with their kids and even pilots. I got some cheers and a high-five AND even better, made it to the gate before they could lock me out!!

I’m now on a plane to Newark in a window seat with no one beside me. I also have two more babies with one row of me. I was smart enough to bring M&Ms on the flight and remembered the Shrek Happy meal toy I got earlier. M&Ms for baby number 1 and Shrek for baby number 2. They are quietly chewing and playing and I can write this in peace. I like to think that maybe I am the Sky Marshal for babies on this flight. I keep babies occupied and full so that everyone else doesn’t have to deal with their terroristic screams for breast milk and binkies. No need to thank me folks, I’m just doing my job to keep the skies a safer place for all who fly there.

I think I am still more than an hour outside of Newark and loving this time I have to catch up on the blog. Im sipping my standard tomato juice with ice (a flying tradition since my first solo commercial flight) and putting thoughts to paper for the masses’ enjoyment, well at least my enjoyment.

Something else I do before getting on every plane I ride, I kiss my pointer and middle finger and touch it to the outside of the plane. Superstitious much? I don’t know when I started doing that, but its been for years and I have never told anyone that. I never did it with my military flights though. I guess I felt safer in those planes bc our motto was “Fly together, die together.” I can’t really explain the thought process behind it, but that’s how it has always been. I have only been scared on a combat flight twice over Afghanistan but while in a commercial flight, I sweat as we take off and right as we are landing. Hypocrite I guess.

I cant wait to sleep in my own bed, wake up tomorrow to finish all my homework for Finance later that night and then head to Boston on Friday with mom and Nanny. Its rough being such a jetsetter.

Side note: this is the most turbulent flight I have been on in years and baby number 1 is sleeping right through it. I can actually see the sweat on some people’s heads being actuated by their reading lights. I’m sweating a little ha

  1. June 3, 2010 at 09:47

    It was a true pleasure to have you with us for Kenzi’s graduation. It was also an honor to have you with us when I found out about my promotion, almost like it was meant to happen that way. I had a great time with you buddy and I feel like the past week is a week we will reminisce on for the rest of our lives. I am still stuck here in St. John’s but I feel like my heart is still in Tucson. It was great to see you and hope you have a wonderful time with your mom and Nanny.

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