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“I like guys who dont try”


The title does not pertain to my sexual preference, but instead is a quote from a HagerVegas local as she apparently was trying to compliment me.

Scene:
Local bar called the Corner Pub with only a handful of patrons including our crew of Kevin, Bex and Dave…oh and Dave’s zombie-drunk friend who was wearing an olive green polo shirt, collar flipped up, and shimmery, navy blue basketball shorts. If that’s not style, I dont know what is. Own it bro.

We’re just having some drinks, nothing out of control, just conversation. A couple of girls walk in and hover around the pool table across the bar. One is forgettable at best and the other is way too exotic to be a local. A definite transplant and upon further inspection, is dressed like she just came off the pole at Rick’s Cabaret. Too much eyeliner, her barbie doll’s top, and tights that had to be painted on. Stripper or Pro, I cant be sure, but Im willing to bet that she was in the “service” business.

Zombie-drunk asks them to play pool and I get roped in while the entire bar laughs. The pool players are all on another level of drunk than I am and its kind of funny to watch this go down from the inside. Zombie-drunk cant hold a pool cue at this point, so you know who was carrying the team. The girls are shooting all over the place and its getting old fast. The game slows to a snails pace when “forgettable” comes up and whispers to me, “I like guys that dont try”, as she tries to caress my hair but instead sticks her finger in my ear. I asked what the hell that was supposed to mean and this is her response, “you know what I mean. I like guys that dont try. I mean, look at you. Look at that beard and your hair, you obviously dont care what people think of you or you wouldnt have left the house like that.”

I didnt really have time for a comeback because a plump gentlemen in his late 30s came in with Taco Bell for our pool playing girls. They sat down and scarfed Toxic Hell bean burritos and tacos with fire sauce after drinking beers at close to midnight. Can you imagine that murder scene in the bathroom the next day? Hope they had baby wipes. Pity the poor dude that “didnt try” to get with her that night and ended up waking next to a human sized bean fart.

Gotta love the locals.

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  1. January 2, 2011 at 21:03

    this is a great hagerstown bar story as well

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