Home > My Everyday Life > What air raid siren?

What air raid siren?

So last night I slept through what some would call an air raid siren.  Our building is old and as such includes old electrical, roofing and plumbing.  Because of this, we have had our boiler replaced, but nothing else has seemed to spring up, until last night.

The boiler is located in the utility closet next to our kitchen.  This supplies hot water to the dish washer, base boards for heat and when it wants to, our shower.  Last night I didnt get to sleep until around 0330 because I had been tossing and turning.  I was tossing and turning because I went out with Liam to Hobson’s in Hoboken for 10 beers and to watch the Olympic Opening Ceremony and was wired. After stumbling home and some night time cold medicine, I fell into an OTC drug induced coma until 1030. When I awoke, there was a note that I had slept through the water alarm.  The water alarm, is located in the utility closet and alerts Nick and I when water is present.  Seems simple enough, but if the boiler explodes, then I probably get burned with scolding water since my bed is still on the floor 10 feet away from the utility closet.  I know, I know.  I know what you are thinking, I am almost 30 and my bed is still on the floor.  Im getting a bed frame this weekend ok!

Nick supplies the note and writes an email saying we are on the verge of crisis.  I call our landlord who yells at me for not telling him sooner but what can I do?  OTC comas are hard to wake up from.  “If it happens again”, he says, “call immediately because we could be in serious trouble.”

I write Nick and apologize for not waking from my coma and he couldnt believe that I slept through it.  I started to think that maybe I could sleep through a fire alarm, so I asked him politely to wake me if he smells smoke.  My sleep machine must me too loud, I drank too much cough syrup, or I attributed it to the raid sirens in Afghanistan.  Either way, it was a little disturbing that I can sleep through a 100 decibel siren at 0500.

I go through my day unfazed; workout, eat a great tuna fish sandwich, watch some Lost and then go to the bar with my friend Liam.  drinking beers, talking about life, ladyfriends, jobs and money, and everything is going well.  THat is until I walk in my apartment building at 0138 and can hear the alarm from the first floor (I live on the 3rd).  Oh, I ate some disco fries at the SPA diner as well before returning home, mozzarella over fries with brown gravy drizzled over top!  YUMMO.  I digress, alarm is sounding, my neighbors hate me and I decide to call the landlord so he doesnt get mad again.

“I think the boiler upstairs is going to burst, I need to call the Fire Dept!”

“Are you serious”, I say.

“Yes, dead serious”.

SHIT!  Here I am thinking, I will wash my face, drink some water to rehydrate myself so as not to hang over tomorrow morn and crash out for bed, but NOPE!!  Here I sit, with some homies from the Fire Dept, HFD I will call them, and we are hanging out having a good time.  They all are looking at me like I am some Vaj that thinks his place is going to flood from a leak that amounts to me shaking my manhood off after a warm shower.  I can practically hear them snickering, some whispers here, some whispers there, and they go upstairs to inspect.

I can hear some banging up there, but here I wait on my couch.  Please give me some kind of answer so I can go to bed soon.  I have to be up and at college by 1000 (I know it isnt early but its a weekend and I dont want to go in).  Besides, my Learning Team from the class was supposed to hand in their piece of a presentation to me on Thursday and still, only ONE of them has.  So help me GOD, if I dont get that info tomorrow AM, I am crushing all of them with an iron fist!!!

The Fire Dept is coming back down now with nothing to report from the wash room above me.  They think its the snow melting, but its 0223 and below freezing outside so it cant be snow melting at night.  Hearing them debating about the cause is too funny, but in no way has it solved anything.  Each of the three offers me their version of some CSI-like investigation.  “Residual water from today’s melting point must have followed the building’s voids to your utility room”, one says.  OK Grissom, you got me, and the butler did it in the library with a candlestick according to hair follicle dialysis.

Either way, this was a huge waste of time, but another crazy thing that could only happen to me right at this very moment.  Good night.

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